I can't believe I just cried in class last Thursday when I received the sms from my mum saying that I need to fly off the next day cos my great grandma is not gonna make it through the next few days.

For some reason fever just had to hit me on that same day same time. Before my mum could fetch me from school, my temperature had already went up to 38.4. We had to cancel the flight so I didnt get to fly back in the end.

I've never hated a pandemic so much before. I just hate H1N1 and the fact that Singapore is following America to bring down the measures and now virus is spreading among the students like nobody's business. If the virus weren't spreading like that, I could have went back, I could have seen her for the last time.

She's not just another relative to me. She's someone I've grown up with besides my parents and my grandparents. I love her.

Since Thursday, every phone call from my dad never fails to make me worry about what he's gonna say before I answer the call. I thought I was prepared for the worst. On Sat morning past 6am, when he called to say that she's not gonna make it, I didn't say anything. I was surprised I had no response. I was simply shocked.

7.53am, that was the time she left all of us.

I didn't cry. I held back until Tuesday when I couldn't take it anymore and I let it all out.


大奶奶，我会永远永远的记得你。我忘不了小时候你陪我在阳台上玩，陪我去逛夜市，陪我睡觉。还有我陪你打麻将，陪你看京剧。到你年老谁都记不起来的时候，你居然还认得我，还叫得出我的名字。可是我却没有陪你走完最后的几天，也没有见到你最后一面。

这是我一辈子的遗憾。