Geography test tomorrow and I haven't studied finish.

Random: Geog teachers are nice!

I'm so planning to major in Geography and just let go off Physics in Year 5. That will mean no physics major for me.

Physics is so super demoralizing. No matter how much I practice, I just can't improve it. I have no idea why and I got a 66% today for the quiz when I could have gotten at least a 80% all thanks to the careless mistakes. Everytime it's either super hard or I just keep making careless mistakes.

Ergh. Results are getting so, disgusting.

Chem and Bio are not in a very good situation too, especially chem. This sem, I finally know how it feels to blank out during a quiz. I've always known how esters are, but I just can't remember during the quiz. Damn ><

IR to work on.
Music Theory Exam in October.

PHYSICS TEST next week. ohmygod noooooo.

CHEMISTRY QUIZ next week too. T.T

CO Concert is coming. o.o I'm having extra performances this year and practicing on Sunday.

TDay rehearsal on Saturday.

cheMagic workshop : 4th Sept.


Oh u know what. Even my chinese is falling into A- range. #@$#@$

I really really need to start working super hard. Life cannot go on to be like this. Stand up from where I fell and continue. I guess I need a break.

A long long, break.


战争年代，有个女人到沙漠中的军营去探望丈夫。不久，丈夫被派出差，她一个人被留下了。风不停地刮着，周围是陌生的墨西哥人和印第安人，没有人和她说话。她难过极了，写信向父亲夫说痛苦，父亲的回信只有两行字：“两人从监狱的铁窗往外看，一个看见了烂泥，一个却看见了星星。” 从此这两行字铭刻在她心中，使她的整个一生为之改观。


RAWR.

Results are getting lousier and lousier these days for me.

I wanted to 拼 this semester.

But I just somehow lost all my energy.

Grrr.


Hahaha. I'm getting happier these few days. I think the time helps, especially with these people around me. (: Thanks all.

Anyway, Gregory came back to school today, after sooo looong of trying meet up, we finally got to meet up today! He reached school at 6pm and after some chatting and photo taking, we went to Sumo House to have dinner! (:

We had fun talking to him and chatting about the good old CO days in Year 1 and 2. hahaha. And telling him about the new things in school x) Greg is just still as weird and funny as ever.

Mrawr. Greg, as all of us know, is super pro! He's gonna go to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) on Saturday. I'm going to send him off! :D

Zhaoye is flying of the same day in the morning to Harvard University. Woah. Hahaha.

Their lives are set already man. It's successful. Though we joked alot today, I was inspired. Greg as usual, inspires. hahaha. I shall work hard too. (: Stop slacking Suchang! D:<

I still have the MIT Keychain that Greg gave me after his MIT attachment when I was in Year 1. Only if I can enter a school like that and buy it for myself.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIONA!! =D

Thanks for the encouragement today! ((:
And SO SORRY FOR MISSING YOUR BBQ! ><


I can't believe I just cried in class last Thursday when I received the sms from my mum saying that I need to fly off the next day cos my great grandma is not gonna make it through the next few days.

For some reason fever just had to hit me on that same day same time. Before my mum could fetch me from school, my temperature had already went up to 38.4. We had to cancel the flight so I didnt get to fly back in the end.

I've never hated a pandemic so much before. I just hate H1N1 and the fact that Singapore is following America to bring down the measures and now virus is spreading among the students like nobody's business. If the virus weren't spreading like that, I could have went back, I could have seen her for the last time.

She's not just another relative to me. She's someone I've grown up with besides my parents and my grandparents. I love her.

Since Thursday, every phone call from my dad never fails to make me worry about what he's gonna say before I answer the call. I thought I was prepared for the worst. On Sat morning past 6am, when he called to say that she's not gonna make it, I didn't say anything. I was surprised I had no response. I was simply shocked.

7.53am, that was the time she left all of us.

I didn't cry. I held back until Tuesday when I couldn't take it anymore and I let it all out.


大奶奶，我会永远永远的记得你。我忘不了小时候你陪我在阳台上玩，陪我去逛夜市，陪我睡觉。还有我陪你打麻将，陪你看京剧。到你年老谁都记不起来的时候，你居然还认得我，还叫得出我的名字。可是我却没有陪你走完最后的几天，也没有见到你最后一面。

这是我一辈子的遗憾。


一天一天的过去发现我越来越想回去，国内的人能和你成为很铁的朋友，在这里大家基本上都自己顾自己的。发现最近连我也很自私，不想多讲话，也不想聊天。因为没有一个人是能真正体谅，了解你的。每个人都是独立的一个个体，没有人能融入你，也很容易就把全世界都屏蔽掉，一个人。

变得很敷衍，很内向。

不能回国的话，想至少离开这个地方。期待着毕业那天的到来，去美国。
把不喜欢的人、事、物统统抛下，重新开始。

家里，学校。

也许你会说这叫逃避，我只想喘口气，安安心心的喘口气。
压力带大会使人窒息，甚至不知道自己在干嘛，所有的毛病全都出来了。

家，对我来说意义重大，我不像其他小孩一样想脱离父母亲人，也不愿意看到这一切的一切。想，哪天，散了，怎么办？不，这不会发生的！

我好羡慕家庭简单的人，好羡慕除了作业就没什么烦恼的人，好羡慕自由自在的人，好羡慕乐天派。原来自己也是这样的，可是最近变得很沮丧也很悲观，看什么什么不顺眼，感觉好像全世界的人都很邪恶，每个人都可能对你反感，都可能把你设为打击的对象，而处处都可能有不好的事情发生。

我想远离这一切，建立一个新的社交圈，做回简简单单的自己。

对，

简单。

我要变开心。